The Tipping Point

The tipping point, the straw that broke the camel’s back, whatever you want to call it, it happens to everyone. I hit my tipping point today. My month has included stressing over school, the loss of a family member, (im)patience in friendships, schedule craziness, and family frustrations. I’ve gotten pretty good at the whole, “Yeah, everything’s fantastic!” -painted on smile- When really, I’m so worn. So, what was my tipping point?
A couple of months ago, I decided to use my old journals and “recycle” them into a collage. Basically, I threw them all away. Today, it made me so sad to see those empty pages and lost memories that I just lost my whole it’s-all-good-so-stop-asking attitude. Let the tears flow. Gasping prayers of frustrations that should’ve been long gone pushed their way out. I was pretty much a mess.
I find myself frustrated that I build up so much junk before I spill it everywhere. I’m like one of those huge buckets at water parks that fill up slowly and then dump gallons of water on you. It would make so much more sense to just deal with the issues and then go on with life right? So what up?
I don’t belong to this world, and it keeps trying to pull me back. I’ve fallen into the trap of, “It’s all good. (Just kidding, but y’know.)” so many times. I have a hard time trusting, and I tend to guilt myself out of spending emotion on issues. But guess what?
Hope. I’m learning, and I’m grateful for tipping points, even when they come in the form of silly paper scribbles. God’s showing me that I can confide in Him, and I’m most definitely not done yet. Yes, there will be more memories to fill up those pages once again! He’s teaching me how to focus on Him, and not my situations. If God is for me, who can be against me?
I don’t know if you struggle with this like I do, but if you do, there is most definitely hope. I’m going to work on emptying my frustrations before I reach my tipping point. The best part? God never gets tired of receiving those frustrations. It opens up a way for Him to heal me, before I cry over lost journals, or the last cookie being eaten, or missing TV show because I forgot. I’m so thankful that God loves me even in my crazy. It’s my favorite, God is so good!
Thanks for hanging out with me! I hope you have a great day, and join me in pouring out before the overflow. It should be fun!
-Katie

(P.S. If you’re interested in helping me recreate all my old journals, you’re most welcome to. I’ll take a hug and maybe a coffee to combat the loss if you don’t have the necessary journal reconstruction time. Okay, that may
be the crazy talking… I will accept the coffee regardless though.)

Free fall.

I’ve begun to learn that I’m crazy, and God’s amazing. He’s invited me into relationship with Him and He’s taking my crazy and showing it some God-things with His amazing. My relationship with God is crazy amazing!

God usually starts His God-thing in my life in this manner:

  1. This is crazy. If You want me to step out in faith, I will! But just for the record, this is sort of crazy.
  2. This isn’t looking so crazy anymore, it’s actually making sense. Wow, God you are so good!
  3. I have to step out, don’t I? Well, okay. I trust You.
  4. Free fall. This is where my faith is really set into action. The spot between me stepping out and seeing where God takes me.
  5. God-thing. BAM! Crazy-amazing.

It’s truly amazing how God softens my heart and uses these experiences to show me that I need to trust Him more. Recently, I’ve decided to help out at a camp over the summer. It may be a week, and I may be a gopher, but I want to serve regardless. The opportunity was brought up in a conversation with my dad. My first thought was, “This is crazy, no way.”.

The more I prayed about it though, the more God bubbled up some excitement in my heart. The anxiety melted away, and God kept working out details that would keep me from signing up to serve. “This isn’t looking so crazy anymore.”

It wasn’t quite time for me to take the leap that inevitably will come next, so God and I talked. He reassured me that no matter how this turns out, or where I end up, it’s all in God’s plan. Excitement and trust are now bubbling in my heart, and I began to see the ledge. For me, this was filling out papers, and answering faith questions. One of the questions was, “In two or three sentences, describe your relationship with God.” My relationship with God is crazy amazing, and the most precious thing in my life. God is my savior, my love, and my best friend. He’s teaching me how to reflect Him more and more every day. “I have to step out, it’s time to jump.”

Free fall. It’s a little crazy, but I know God’s holding me in the free fall. God has a plan, and I don’t know how or when, but I know He will come through. Royal Tailor has a song called, “Freefall” that completely caught my attention and is pretty much the background for this post. Sort of an aha moment, “Woah, this is exactly how I feel right now!” Here are the lyrics:

Two steps beyond the edge/I can’t undo this leap of faith/Takes my breath away/So high above the ground/You’ve got me hanging in mid air/Between here and there/Now all I have is You

I’m not afraid, I know I’m safe/It’s a chance, but my choice is made/I’m not alone, You won’t let go/And I know through it all/You hold me in the free fall

If I just believe my eyes/I’d see I should be terrified/But I’m so alive/I don’t know how or when/But I believe that you’ll come through/Lord, I’m trusting You/Can’t wait to see what You will do

I’m falling, I’m falling, I’m falling/You got me falling from the sky/With no parachute/Thinking I can fly but I know it’s You/Got me up here, no fear, no tears/Mind’s clear ’cause I know You’re here/Can’t wait to see what You will do

I’m excited. I feel silly, and crazy, and a little nervous, but God’s holding my heart and guiding my steps.

The Unnoticed Worshipper

“Praise is a contradiction of pride. Pride says, “Look at me,” but praise longs for people to see Jesus. There’s no room for showing off in the holy throne room. Picture it now: There we stand in the glorious presence of almighty God; elders bow as low as they can and seraphs cover their faces. But there’s one person right in the middle of the whole thing showing off a bit- a little dance routine, an over-the-top vocal and just generally hamming it up. Ridiculous? Of course. And I exaggerated to make a point, but I hope the point is clear. The reality is that in the throne room of almighty God, everyone’s bowing as low as they can.” ~Matthew Redman (The Unquenchable Worshipper)

“Whom shall I fear…

“Whom shall I fear? I know who goes before me, I know who stands behind, the God of Angel Armies is always by my side. The One who reigns forever, He is a friend of mine. The God of Angel Armies, is always by my side. Oh, nothing formed against me shall stand. You hold the whole world in Your hands. I’m holding on to your promises. You are faithful! You are faithful!” ~Chris Tomlin (Whom Shall I Fear)

Joys!

  I’m overly amazed at how quickly emotions can change. I started this blog with a sad state of mind. I had a confused, lost, sort of view. Silly me, I had somehow put aside the fact of God’s insane love for me so I could pick up being confuse or scared or depressed. That’s probably along the lines of being the dumbest thing I could do. I feel like a lot of people do this and to that I have some advice. Let it go, no matter what it is, and remember how much God loves you. In your darkest moment, God will still love you, because that’s who He is. With that said, let’s start anew, shall we?

Lets talk about some joys! 2012 has been a lovely year. I’ve made some great friends, gone on many a trip, and started a few new things that I never thought I’d do before. Isn’t it crazy how God likes to take you out of your comfort zone? Sure, uncomfortable at the time, but afterwards He uses those uncomfortable feelings to become excitement and joy! So here are some examples of recent insane God-things that fill me with joy:

My first example of this is dance. I’ve always liked to watch people dance, and I think it’s lovely. But I haven’t danced with a group of people since I was 5 and in ballet. So, joining a dance group was a little crazy. I’m glad God put me there though, with the lovely group of girls I dance with. They’re such an inspiration to me, and I actually enjoy dancing more than I thought!

I was also blessed this year with being placed on the worship team at church. I haven’t actually played in worship yet, but as I’ve been practicing with my team I’ve been seeing how much of a God-thing this is. I got the idea to sign up from a friend of mine, Theresa, she’s lovely and plays on her church’s worship team. I told her that I’d sign up the next time the church offered the positions. God, using His wonderful sense of irony, had the church put “worshippers wanted” flyers in out bulletins that next Sunday. Along with not being scared or nervous at all about auditions or practice, I’ve found out that there were other people who maybe could have been doing what I’m doing, but God has opened the door for me to do it. Why me, I don’t know, but I’m thankful.

Lastly, and quite possibly the most exciting, is that I have a great friend named Lauren who is creatively inclined to write. She has a blog, onenotalone.wordpress.com , if you would like to read up on her loveliness. She and I have been working on making some music! Because she is writing awesomeness and I enjoy music, we decided that putting the two together would be large amounts of epic. This is infinitely exciting to me, because we’ve both found joy in this and recognize what God is doing. If you’d like to hear what we’ve been working on, along with a few of my “humor” in the form of song, here’s the link to my soundcloud: soundcloud.com/ellokaitlin 

I’m so grateful. God is doing amazing things in my life with my friendship and the paths He’s leading me down. I can only imagine what 2013 will be like. I hope you can say that your year has been great as well, and I pray that this coming year will be even more so filled with God’s love and blessings for your life.

 

~Katie

A Plan to Prosper

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

I always catch myself making my own me plans. Time and time again I refer back to this verse and realize that yet again, what are my plans compared to God’s? That’s like comparing a cocoa bean to a chocolate bar. The cocoa bean obviously has some potential, but it’s nothing compared to the chocolate bar because it’s so much more. The chocolate bar is so much more complex. It’s filled with so many different ingredients that are mixed together to make something lovely.  A cocoa bean is pretty bitter if you try to eat it alone, but the chocolate is so sweet.

I admit that I may be a little hungry, but I do have a point. My plans will bring me nothing but disappointment. Sure, they may end up working out, but will I be as happy as if I followed God’s plan? Probably not. I trust Jesus, and I know that there is a plan already made and laid out for me. I just have to pick up my cross and follow Jesus.

“Then he said to them all: ‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it.'”
Luke 9:23-24

I’m so thankful for everything that God has done in my life. I have so many amazing people and opportunities surrounding me that it’s pretty obvious God is up to something. He has just completely shown me amazing love, and I see His God-things everyday.

Learning and acting on this truth can be a challenge, but I trust God and know He loves me and wants what’s best for me-and you too!

-Katie

No Place I Would Rather Be

There’s a song that the worship team is leading on Sunday called, “Set a Fire” by United Pursuit.

The lyrics are:

There’s no place I would rather be, There’s no place I would rather be,
No place I would rather be,
than here in Your love, here in Your love!
So set a fire down in my soul,
That I can’t contain, That I can’t control,
I want more of you God, I want more of you God!

It’s such a short song, but I love it so much. Everywhere I go I can sing this, because God is with me all the time! I want that faith where it’s so strong that I can’t control it. A fire set in my soul that everyone will see! I just stumbled across this verse (Funny how God does things!) and I think it pretty much sums up all the other things I could have said.

“Praise The Lord! For He has heard my cry for mercy. The Lord is my strength and my shield. I trust Him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.” Psalms 28:6-7 (NLT)

And to that, I say amen. How much different do you think our world would be if the church (us as believers) randomly burst out in songs of thanksgiving? I think we should try it. Are you with me?

I think you’re swell,
Katie

Hello world!

I’m excited to start this journey with you! The idea to start this blog has been on my heart for a while now, but I’ve never really had the push I needed until today.  Lately, I’ve been dealing with things in my life that are beyond my control. Things, ideas, evil forces that are trying to pull me away from what I believe in- Who I believe in. In combat, I’ve decided not to let them tear me down, but grow deeper in God’s word and in faith, and share my journey, my voyage, with you. I hope that in my daily devotions, you will also be strengthened. I want to do what Proverbs 2:1-10 talks about:

“My son, if you accept my word and store up my commandments within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom, and from His mouth come knowledge and understanding. He holds victory in store for the upright, He is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, for He guards the course of the just and protects the way of His faithful ones. Then you will understand what is right and just and fair-every good path. For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.” Proverbs 2:1-10

I plan to just simply document what God puts on my heart. Some days it may be a whole page full of truths the Father has shown to me, other days it may be just a verse or two that have really pulled my heart. If you’re curious about me, I encourage you to visit the about page at the top of the blog. I’ll have a description of my beliefs and my story. I’m really excited that you’ve joined me, and I pray that through meditation of God’s Word we will be strengthened and transformed by the renewing of our minds just like Romans 12:2 says:

“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is- His good, pleasing, and perfect will.” Romans 12:2

Have a lovely day,

Katie